How much longer is this Facebook Fast? ugh!

I am just now starting to realize how much I relied on Facebook to get news and just... any info about my family, out to friends and family!

I have over 10,000 rollover minutes on my account! 10,000!!! I don't do well on the phone, my kids go crazy the moment they sense me on the phone. They could be in their own room playing and totally intent on what they are doing, but the MOMENT I pick up the phone and start dialing (silently) it's like their radar picks it up and out they come screaming at each other or just running around throwing things, getting into things, asking me a hundred million questions, hitting each other or pummeling the dog. I end up spending more time getting them to behave than actually talking.

The other issue is that a lot of the time the main people I call just don't listen so I try hard not to talk for very long or very fast (both are problems of mine) and then it ends up being silence... or I'll realize these people I'm talking to weren't even listening so I might as well have not even been talking which is really annoying because I hate talking on the phone anyway.

Anyway, I need to work on calling SOME people more often, but some of those 'some' need to pay attention to the conversation, talk more, or call me back when you can attend better. I don't call people to hear myself talk, although I can and will drone on and on and on if ya let me (take this blog entry for example), but ask yourself: "when there have been pauses in the conversation... did I try to fill it with anything?" If not, well, what else am I supposed to do but fill it?  If we were in person I don't mind silence, I'm ok with that. On the phone, you talk or get off. I'm not ok with silence on the phone. Realizing I was just talking to myself for no reason kinda hurts my feelings so... just keep that in mind.

Oh and I got a new phone... it rings... most of the time. I'm sure your phone dials out... just sayin.... ;) lol! One sided responsibility isn't really fair. You CAN call me too you know ;)


Ok when I "signed up" for this Lent business (even though it's not even MY holiday) I agreed to the 28th of March... THAT'S IT HONEY!  I'm NOT going to no 3rd of April, although now that I see the date it does actually make sense.. April 3rd being Easter.. wait isn't Easter the 4th. WTH?
whatever MARCH 28TH PEOPLE! That's 40 days from Feb 17th!  I'm done at 40 days! I'm clearly confused...


what have I been doing? 2 words: twit-ter! lol! sad but true. and now Metallica's song of the same name is playing in my head, mixing with Catch Me if You Can by Theory of a Deadman. I just bought their (TOADM) CD on iTunes... they rock!! "Spaceship" is my fave! Scroll down my blog you'll find the lyrics ;)

I've also been trying to revive this moms group I stupidly took over when the last organizer jumped ship. Honestly I don't blame her. I had a list several pages long of people who wanted to stay but none of them are talking on the message board, showing up to playdates, suggestiong or hosting playdates... I've all but given up all of my other groups just to devote to this one and I get NOTHING in return. Fun shit... not really.

I've been going to the gym a lot! I'm officially down 20 lbs from my heaviest and 18 lbs from Dec 1st! I'm back down to the size I was when Tass came home from Iraq for R&R in 2007! I had put on 20 lbs after that. Took a while and most of it was winter of '09 when I sat on my ass and did homework all day and read Twilight and other books OVER AND OVER AND OVER (repeat a total of 8 times for the Twlight series) all night. I didn't do much back then but read read read! See I blame Stephanie Meyers for my weight gain and almost complete withdrawl from life cause she wrote a book and put crack in the pages so that everytime I opened it and turned a page I got another hit and got further and further addicted... there is no other explanation... the fact that I am a bit OCD with some stuff has NOTHING to do with it at all.. nothing I say!

I'm not getting any further with my therapist for the whole ADD/OCD business. I need to find another one i think. I really want to learn to tame them. (not Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets OCD mind you... my hand washing is: checking facebook or twitter a hundred million times a day, checking door locks a dozen times before bed, reading books obsessively (twilight saga 8 times in 6 months) stuff like that, I don't wash my hands repeatedly or not step on cracks or count stairs.. although I did do the crack avoiding and the stair counting as a kid, but when I realized people thought I was crazy I forced myself to stop lol...sigh...) anyway learning how to get control over myself a bit more would be awesome! I am open to drugs now and I wasn't before, but until we can figure out WTF is wrong with my STUPID EFFING stomach, drugs are OUT and the homeopathic hippy in me doens't REALLY want the drugs. I guess I'm opting for the easy out since nothing else in my life is easy... idk. well.. I shouldn't say that... other people have life waaaaaaaaaaaaay worse off than I...

I should probably make more Dr's apts though... I just... haven't. My HIDA scan for my gall bladder came back normal. My upper endoscopy came back fine. My bloodwork all comes back fine. WTH else is there? Sooo frustrating! Also my heavily restricted diet is helping with the wieght loss so that's a good silver lining... sigh... I am going to go see a Naturalpathic dr when we get our taxes back though. I think I am done with western meds. I know of other people who pay for a naturalpath themselves... I think we might just go that route too... makes more sense to me to see them anyway... already found a lady too so it will all work out... somehow... I trust that.

Other websites I found and LOVE LOVE LOVE!:

Moonfrye! (I linked you to my page ;)  It was started by Soliel Moon Fry (Punky Brewster!) she's this totally "involved in helping the world mother" and I love her and her website! It's still getting going but the more we spread the word the more people will come and the more awesome it will be! Can ya tell I love it...

Although I needed another website to check like I needed another hole in the head... oh well...

On the front page of Moonfrye are links to amazing organizations whose aim is to help save the world... in so many ways! I also found a few more:

Wish Upon a Wedding is a charity that helps provide people with terminal illnesses a wedding...I applied to be a wedding photographer for the Seattle and Portland chapters. I really hope I get accepted! What a fabulous way to share your talents!

Which brings me to another mission! I want to go to women's shelters and pregnancy crisis centers and help them all feel better about themselves by providing them with a "model for a day" photoshoot. I need to get a hair and make up girl and someone who can help with the clothes, but that's what I want to do.. we'll see how it goes...

Ok well it's 237am it's time for bed... again. I fell asleep putting my monsters to bed and woke up an hour or so ago from a crazy nightmare and was WIDE awake! Now I'm resisting the urge to break into the spaghetti I made for dinner... I didn't eat much of it and I'm soo hungry, but eating at 240am probably isn't the best of ideas and I already snuck a banana... ya.

love to all!